So my uncle who had colon cancer for a few months died last night. He died alone in the hospital at the age of 50. He was murdered. And I’m going to execute one of yours next. You better believe it. You take one of mine, I take two or three of yours. Got that bitch whore? You loser.
So I’m pregnant with our fifth child. And it’s a boy. He will be born on my husband’s birthday. I’m naming the child after his father and his middle name will be my uncle’s. Another J name. Perfect. My uncle was born a day before my husband’s brother’s birthday of December 5. My uncle is December 4.
I remember when I first met my uncle. I thought he was my cousin because he wasn’t that much older than me. We rode bikes together in his ancestral homeland. He was my playmate when I was a child in that country.
He came to this country in his mid twenties. He left his wife and two children behind. He decided to move to the state next to us despite my protests. I told him that state isn’t friendly to my mother’s side of the family. Only my father’s side of the family. For about 15 years my parents owned homes in both states. I spent most of my adolescence and twenties traveling back and forth between both states. I partied and went to the beach in that state.
Anyway, my uncle worked hard his entire life making barely minimum wage. His wife ended up cheating on him and marrying someone else and his children disowned him. He just worked and kept to himself. He became a naturalized citizen and never broke the law. He never got in trouble with the law. He worked hard and did a lot of over-time and kept to himself.
It’s sad that he had to die that way. Alone and unloved. But I love you, Uncle J. I care for your soul and your spirit. I will do my best to guide your soul to a happier place. I can do that. And I will strike back against those who plotted your murder when you turned 50. I’ll take two or three of theirs out. Most definitely.
In honor of you, Uncle, I’m naming my next son after you. Well middle name. And I’m giving up all vices. Like I did three years ago.
Your death will not be in vain. My son will carry your name. And your life will be celebrated by me when I tell my son all about you and the kind of good man you are.
Ironically, I didn’t know you died until half an hour ago. It’s ironic because last night I announced I was pregnant and expecting in a few months.
It’s not just irony, dear Uncle, and gentle readers. It’s Divine Guidance. With death comes life. And around the time I announced my pregnancy is around the time you died.
I love you very much and will do what I can spiritually to lead you to a happier place. And I will take out two or three of their people in the process.
You will be honored through my son who will be born in a few months.
Bless your soul and may the Angels carry you somewhere beautiful and happy.
Your Pregnant Niece,
Emma and Family