Emmaruth is Secure

I signed up for Lifelock yesterday. No one anywhere can use my SS# or birth certificate to open up a bank account, obtain a loan, or get a credit card, driver’s license, or passport, etc.

I signed up to Lifelock’s premium plan that insures me up to a Million dollars.

So you identity thieves can no longer pretend you’re me, Emmaruth.

I’m purchasing an over grand laptop tonight with the ultimate security out there possible. It should arrive on Tuesday.

I spoke to police detectives last night about identity thieves and Mexicans threatening my life and my family’s life. They told me I either have to come down to the precinct or call 911.

I’m going to do that quite soon. I did dial 911 and spoke to a dispatcher on a recorded line. It’s recorded…my name, address, Mexican identity thieves, and Mexicans threatening our lives.

I found out that one of the identity thieves was sent to a psych ward for schizophrenia.

Next time someone tries to hack my laptop I’m dialing 911 right away for them to come and take my laptop and track the hackers. You’re done. You can’t hack me anymore. You idiot rabbits.

Excellent.

I’m going to have a glorious summer and by next fall I will be in school, pursuing my ten year plan.

I defeated all spiritual battles and came out victorious.

I’m also not mentally ill. I’m quite sane and capable.

I won.

EMMARUTH


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